Posted on August 29, 2015
First of all, for those who aren’t likers of Five Fairies Facebook page, the results of my scan on Wednesday were a bit better than I was anticipating. Lots of extra pain meant lots of extra fear for me, anxiety that the cancer had become very aggressive, that the tumours were bigger than they had ever been. As it turns out they were not…there has been a small amount of cancer progression in both my liver and lungs as I have been on my chemo break, and my biggest liver tumour, which was quite close to the surface of my liver, which contains all the pain receptors had grown towards these, rather than away, causing the shooting pains and extra back aches. I have to return to chemo, and it will be second line chemo, as the first line has clearly reached the limit of it’s effectiveness. I have resisted this, but I have come to terms with it, I am “ready”, and I know the cancer needs a new regime of drugs to try and get some really good shrinkage again. To my delight, my oncologist said that it is safe to wait until after I have enjoyed all the festivities and travel surrounding my book launches before wading in again. So, September 14 I am back in the chair, but until then, I am going to enjoy every minute.
My book was released on Wednesday, and since then, I have been caught up in the most incredible wave of love, support, joy and excitement. My beautiful friends went out there to shop after shop and if they hadn’t unpacked their supplies of Breakfast, School Run, Chemo, they were compelled to do so immediately. After a slow morning, when people searched fruitlessly, all of a sudden they started to roll out at a consistent rate, and hundreds of photos started appearing on my Facebook feed of people finding it and photographing it on shelves, and themselves with it. FUN! I wanted to see it on the shelf of somewhere myself, and Target had seemed the most reliable at getting them unpacked and shelved. We picked up the girls from school and rushed down to the local Target store, but the book was nowhere to be seen. Then my daughters noticed a trolley of books in an aisle, waiting to be unpacked. They started searching through the piles, and then a yell of delight “MUM, we FOUND it”. The lady who was stocking the shelves came around the corner in response to all the excitement and asked if we wanted to buy it. I said to her no, i actually wrote it, and I’d like you to shelve it for me, so I can get my first picture of me with my book on the shelves! She was delighted, and took pics of us with the book – it was an INCREDIBLE moment.
Now, without further ado, onto the “media”, and who they were. They were the lovely Tara Brown and a crew from 60 minutes, and that is where you will find me tomorrow night. Here is a sneak peak:
Hope that works for you. This preview is very emotional, however, I didn’t cry all that much during our 7 days of filming and the bottom line is the that the story is mostly about my book, and my message, and my legacy. I am very nervous ahead of tomorrow night, but we loved the team from 60 minutes, they were like mates, Tara, producer Gaz, sound guys Tangles and Trev, and cameraman Dickie. They treated me with great respect, never pushed me beyond what I was capable of energy wise, and always asked if I was ok, and stressed that if I simply couldn’t do something they would work around it. It was TIRING, oh my goodness, the doing of things over and over again lol, but ultimately it was enormous fun, and a real novelty. I know they respected me and what I want my legacy to be, and while there will be much sadness in this story, as it is sad, I am confident that this will not be exploited.
Whilst on holidays on the Gold Coast I was also interviewed for Women’s Day magazine, so if you are not absolutely sick to death of the sight of me, you can find me there too.
In the concluding chapter of the book, which I wrote especially for it, I talk about myself as a little girl that sat on the steps at school…already a bit of an outcast, a child who was not liked, who didn’t fit in, who didn’t know how to. I remember her, she was very lost and lonely. I really think though, in the last few days that I have said goodbye to that little girl forever. The love and support I have received from people since starting this blog, having it published as a book, sharing my road to being brave and bold and living authentically has been staggering. It is that collective love that has seen my book already sell out in some stores, and at the time of writing this, the “sneak peak” of my 60 minutes piece has been shared just a couple of hundred times short of EIGHTY THOUSAND TIMES. It is quite hard for me to get my head around this. The producer of our segment, Gaz (or Gaz Mark 2 as he was known, as of course my husband is also Gaz!) told me that the viewing audience of 60 minutes hovers around the million and I am struggling to come to terms with that, but I certainly didn’t expect the preview to be viewed 10’s of thousands of times. All of this because people are generously sharing me, and then their friends are doing the same. Lost, lonely…a socially awkward outcast. Not any more
My book is officially being launched in Melbourne on Tuesday, and I am EXCITED. I’m fully on board with the rockstar thing, I am so going to love EVERY MINUTE of this. I’ve bought a snazzy dress and we’re talking spray tans and jewels and hair and make up from the experts I feel so grateful to be having this moment.
Thank you, from the bottom on my heart for all the love, support and friendship, it means the world to me.