The girl on the steps

First of all, for those who aren’t likers of Five Fairies Facebook page, the results of my scan on Wednesday were a bit better than I was anticipating.  Lots of extra pain meant lots of extra fear for me, anxiety that the cancer had become very aggressive, that the tumours were bigger than they had ever been.  As it turns out they were not…there has been a small amount of cancer progression in both my liver and lungs as I have been on my chemo break, and my biggest liver tumour, which was quite close to the surface of my liver, which contains all the pain receptors had grown towards these, rather than away, causing the shooting pains and extra back aches.  I have to return to chemo, and it will be second line chemo, as the first line has clearly reached the limit of it’s effectiveness.  I have resisted this, but I have come to terms with it, I am “ready”, and I know the cancer needs a new regime of drugs to try and get some really good shrinkage again.  To my delight, my oncologist said that it is safe to wait until after I have enjoyed all the festivities and travel surrounding my book launches before wading in again.  So, September 14 I am back in the chair, but until then, I am going to enjoy every minute.

My book was released on Wednesday, and since then, I have been caught up in the most incredible wave of love, support, joy and excitement.  My beautiful friends went out there to shop after shop and if they hadn’t unpacked their supplies of Breakfast, School Run, Chemo, they were compelled to do so immediately.  After a slow morning, when people searched fruitlessly, all of a sudden they started to roll out at a consistent rate, and hundreds of photos started appearing on my Facebook feed of people finding it and photographing it on shelves, and themselves with it.  FUN!  I wanted to see it on the shelf of somewhere myself, and Target had seemed the most reliable at getting them unpacked and shelved.  We picked up the girls from school and rushed down to the local Target store, but the book was nowhere to be seen.  Then my daughters noticed a trolley of books in an aisle, waiting to be unpacked.  They started searching through the piles, and then a yell of delight “MUM, we FOUND it”.  The lady who was stocking the shelves came around the corner in response to all the excitement and asked if we wanted to buy it.  I said to her no, i actually wrote it, and I’d like you to shelve it for me, so I can get my first picture of me with my book on the shelves!  She was delighted, and took pics of us with the book – it was an INCREDIBLE moment.

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Now, without further ado, onto the “media”, and who they were.  They were the lovely Tara Brown and a crew from 60 minutes, and that is where you will find me tomorrow night.  Here is a sneak peak:

Hope that works for you.  This preview is very emotional, however, I didn’t cry all that much during our 7 days of filming and the bottom line is the that the story is mostly about my book, and my message, and my legacy.  I am very nervous ahead of tomorrow night, but we loved the team from 60 minutes, they were like mates, Tara, producer Gaz, sound guys Tangles and Trev, and cameraman Dickie.  They treated me with great respect, never pushed me beyond what I was capable of energy wise, and always asked if I was ok, and stressed that if I simply couldn’t do something they would work around it.  It was TIRING, oh my goodness, the doing of things over and over again lol, but ultimately it was enormous fun, and a real novelty.  I know they respected me and what I want my legacy to be, and while there will be much sadness in this story, as it is sad, I am confident that this will not be exploited.

Whilst on holidays on the Gold Coast I was also interviewed for Women’s Day magazine, so if you are not absolutely sick to death of the sight of me, you can find me there too.

In the concluding chapter of the book, which I wrote especially for it, I talk about myself as a little girl that sat on the steps at school…already a bit of an outcast, a child who was not liked, who didn’t fit in, who didn’t know how to.  I remember her, she was very lost and lonely.  I really think though, in the last few days that I have said goodbye to that little girl forever.  The love and support I have received from people since starting this blog, having it published as a book, sharing my road to being brave and bold and living authentically has been staggering.  It is that collective love that has seen my book already sell out in some stores, and at the time of writing this, the “sneak peak” of my 60 minutes piece has been shared just a couple of hundred times short of EIGHTY THOUSAND TIMES.  It is quite hard for me to get my head around this.  The producer of our segment, Gaz (or Gaz Mark 2 as he was known, as of course my husband is also Gaz!) told me that the viewing audience of 60 minutes hovers around the million and I am struggling to come to terms with that, but I certainly didn’t expect the preview to be viewed 10’s of thousands of times.  All of this because people are generously sharing me, and then their friends are doing the same.  Lost, lonely…a socially awkward outcast.  Not any more :)

My book is officially being launched in Melbourne on Tuesday, and I am EXCITED.  I’m fully on board with the rockstar thing, I am so going to love EVERY MINUTE of this.  I’ve bought a snazzy dress and we’re talking spray tans and jewels and hair and make up from the experts :)  I feel so grateful to be having this moment.

Thank you, from the bottom on my heart for all the love, support and friendship, it means the world to me.

20 Comments on “The girl on the steps

  1. Julie, I am the admin assistant at the school where your children attend. I bought your book yesterday, started reading it at 8.30pm, couldn’t put it down. I finished it at 1.30am today. You are an amazing author, I was completely taken by every word you wrote. Thank you for being you!!

  2. So happy for you, it will be an amazing few weeks for you to enjoy all the accolades coming your way. I’m looking forward to Tuesday night to finally see you in person, excited for you and the family. 😃🍸

  3. More power to you, Julia … much love and I will be watching you tonight.

  4. HI Julia
    I just wanted to let you know of a possible reprieve for you. My mum has cancer. She had lymph node and bowel cancel 12 years ago and beat it with Vitamin K treatment and an organic diet. But then she couldn’t see the doctor anymore but she had it conquered for now at the time so she just kept on the organic diet. Recently, a year ago, she had a fall in the lounge room and hit her head on the clock. Dad took her to hospital and they took some ex-rays and found cancer. She had it near the spine, in the breast, possibly (unconfirmed) in the hip and worst of all on the liver. She and Dad went to Adelaide to see this guy and he told them of this treatment. I’m not sure if he is a doctor or naturalist but Dad took this information and spoke to some more people about it and found a bunch of people that had survived through this. About 2months months ago mum had her breast removed. Mum continued to take the treatment. Dad added some of his own healthy concoction and I can say that a year after the diagnosis mum is no worse off and the cancer has not spread. Its not gone but it looks like it has given her time. She is stronger happier and she is well. I wanted to pass this onto you in case I might be able to help you. Please feel free to contact me if you wish. I will be most happy to give you any details I can to help. I wish you much love and happiness for you and your family.

  5. I saw you on 60 minutes tonight, Julia. You looked familiar. Your weight. The red across your cheeks and nose. Your down’s angel. Do you have MTHFR, like me? May God bless you with more years to spend with your fairies and fella. Best love to you <3

  6. julia, you are a delightful divine being who touched my heart the moment i seen you…i immediately went into my minds eye and sent forth by decree and invocation of combined healing energies from myself and the beloved goddess of venus to transmute/remove all traces of cancer in your cellular body..i also smile regardless of any negativity that i am faced with..however your intelligent approach, is exactly what the doctor you are probably aware..we are what we *think…power of the mind/power of thought is key.. “as you are already hahaaha..stay/live in the now moment of endless possibilities” with love & light t ((((((<3)))))) :))

  7. Hi Julia,
    I’m a longtime reader of your amazing blog and I watched 60 minutes tonight. I am often very moved by your words but today I was surprised by how much more emotional it was to see you and your family in ‘real life’. Strange as it may seem, seeing you made you real and to be honest I felt freshly angry on your behalf (and on your beautiful husband’s) because it’s just so bloody unfair what’s happening to you but I could also see the confidence and happiness radiating out of you. You say that you’ve really come into your own and I could literally see that in your face. When I would expect to see sadness and damage in your face all I could see was just this peacefulness and joy. So, whilst your words are glorious I hope you’re also taking plenty of videos because your face tells a wonderful story of its own. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that you’ve really genuinely touched my life and inspired me and I’ll be sending you my love as I continue to read your journey. And your family are just beautiful, you should be very proud xxxx

  8. what an amazing woman you are, such strength….. I am definitely going to go out today and get your book…….I wish you well for the future

  9. Hi Julia. I saw ur story on tv last night. You are a very courageous person. I just wanted to share that even if we cannot escape the reality of death on earth, in this world we live in, we have our savior Jesus Christ who died on the cross for us and paid the full price of our sins and that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life (Jn 3:16).

  10. What an amazing lady you are. I can only hope big hopes for you with all my heart. Breast cancer touched my life about 19 years ago, please God you are given time.
    God bless

    • Hi Julia
      Thank you and god bless you. Seeing you on sixty minutes sharing life made me wish my sister could have done what you are doing making every day count, she didn’t have time. Your brave and wonderful what a beautiful person. Thanks. Love the book go girl 💜

  11. Dear Julia, I was watching 60 minutes last night and I thought I would write to you about a friend of mine that also had terminal stage 4 cancer, she still well and in remission, I’d love to speak with you should you wish, I don’t want to sell or promote anything, I can just let you know what she did and used to go into remission, my name is George Borse and you can contact me via my company email I wish you the very best.

  12. I am touched by your incredible bravery and your love for your family, and for fighting so hard to stay in this terribly cruel and unfair world. How you have felt about yourself is how I had felt about myself for such a long time. Your honesty about your life is helping me realise how incredibly grateful I am for mine. I wish you peace and lots of love on your journey. Xo Tracey

  13. Hi Julie,

    I watched your story on 60 minutes last night, with many a tear in my eye. Your story remarkably resembles the story of my own Mum, and your daughters story, that of my own. I would really like to share this with you, but not in this public space.
    Hopefully you can contact me, but if not I understand.
    I wish you and your family all the hope possible.


  14. Hi Julia,

    I watched your story on 60 minutes last night, with many a tear in my eye. Your story remarkably resembles the story of my own Mum, and your daughters story, that of my own. I would really like to share this with you, but not in this public space.
    Hopefully you can contact me, but if not I understand.
    I wish you and your family all the hope possible.


  15. Hi Julia,
    I saw your story on Sundays 60 minutes and what a remarkable courageous women you are.your story reminded me so much of my mothers, who passed away in 2005 after 5 years of fighting this dreadful disease.your story brought tears to my eyes with your book,something my mum wanted to do but never got the are a very special lady and a inspiration for anyone who has to go through this journey.i would like to leave you with something me and my mum would say. A winner never quits and a quitter never wins.x simon

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