Posted on June 9, 2016
I know that a lot of people are worried about me at the moment and the lack of posts, so I thought I would give a bit of an update.
I am OK. Sort of.
Since finishing radiation, I have had a big increase in symptoms and pain in my liver. Liver pain, shoulder pain (from liver), and nausea. I have spoken to my oncologist and of course we know now that my big hope that the progression indicated by my cancer markers a couple of months ago was not coming from my liver, now has to be given up. My liver is definitely progressing, and all that remains is a scan in a week and a half to see how much. If my liver function is still up to it, I will start a new regime the next day, he has already booked me in. Cetuximab, which is a tumour targeting treatment and can be very successful in some people. He is giving it to me with Irinotecan, which is a chemo that I have now “failed”, but Cetux works better with chemo, so he is hoping they will kick each other off. It means a weekly infusion at the start, don’t ask me how I will show up at that fucking chemo ward once a WEEK, but it must be done. This treatment won’t include the cock bottle though – small mercies.
To be honest, I could have posted a blog many times, pouring out what is in my heart and mind at the moment. But, as we are getting to the pointy end of things (This being my last real treatment available to me outside of trials – what if it doesn’t work?), I really have to spare my nearest and dearest from reading what is going through my mind at the moment, the “plans” I have started to think about. I know it is usual for me to throw it all out there, but this is not the time.
Despite all this, I am not in a blind panic. The emerging symptoms that don’t go away have been very confronting – nothing like constant pain and nausea to remind you constantly of what you are up against. However, I am controlling it with steroids and some opiates if need be, and things are still pretty normal at home. Thanks to a friend cooking for us, and my own efforts (the tiredness from radiation is easing a lot) we have eaten at home all week – no going out or takeaway. That is a bit of a big call around here for the last couple of years! I am currently packing for a weekend away in Bendigo, where I am meeting up with quite a few friends, including some I met through this blog I am looking forward to the family time, and yes, while I hate the connotations…..”making memories”. I am trying very hard to remain positive that the next treatment will work, and for a good while and offer me some breathing space and time for lots more fun.
Back to packing, more from me soon. Just wanted to reassure concerned blog readers that I am still alive – and kicking!